Make an awesome playlist on cell phone or other music device, and bring it with you when you visit. Talk to the supervisor. While some personalities just don’t click, other nurses may downright anger you or scare you, and you have every right to request that nurse not take care of your baby. Also, ask for primary nurses. If your baby is very premature and will be in the NICU for a while, let your nurses know that you’d like to request a select group of nurses who will be the main caregivers. Not every NICU does this, but it never hurts to ask. Use a baby wrap (a Moby wrap or Zaky Zak), or a skin to skin shirt. Some nurses may not be familiar with using these items in the NICU, but don’t let that stop you. Other NICUs allow them, even encourage them. Here’s one way to keep your sweetie hearing your voice even when you’re not there. I recommend you borrow or purchase a cheap voice recorder (so you won’t be devastated if it gets lost), and then record yourself talking to your baby, reading a book, singing lullabies—anything you feel like saying. Your nurses can play this for your baby throughout the day, helping calm her when she’s fussy or just playing it as background sound while she sleeps. Grab a cheap notepad and start writing down the names of everyone you meet in the NICU. Or, use the notes function on your mobile phone to make a list. These are also a great places to write down those questions you mean to ask, but always forget to ask because your NICU/pumping/stressed-out brain can’t ever remember what it was you were going to ask. Something that calms you, even just a little bit, will help bring your stress level down and give you something small to look forward to. (There are even a few NICU specific meditations to try if you don’t have any idea how you might meditate in the NICU.) But go ahead—ask your NICU if you can schedule a professional photographer to come to the NICU—many NICU’s will allow it, as long as the baby is stable enough. A great resource is Tiny Footprints, a non-profit organization which has a team of volunteer photographers across the country who specialize in free photography for NICU families. How to make it fun? First, be sure to use a hands-free bra. You’ll be so SO glad you did. (You can make one or buy one or use a hands-free system). Next, think about something fun that you like to do, an indulgence—a favorite TV show on Netflix, or a copy of that one magazine you love but never take time to read—and save these treats just for pumping time. Want to binge-watch “Mad Men”? Want to read the latest National Enquirer? Allow yourself this indulgence during pumping. But ask your nurses for a blanket that smells like your baby—the blanket he’s been swaddled in all night, for example. Having that blanket to cuddle with and smell when you’re home and missing your baby is a small but wonderful thing. It truly helps with your bonding. Don’t believe me? Here’s an article explaining research that shows just how important that newborn smell is to new moms. The next time this happens, don’t panic. Know that your presence there with your baby is incredibly important (see the above hack about “Missing your Baby”). If you can’t stand it - if it’s too upsetting to just sit there and not hold - give yourself some fresh air and go for a walk. And remember your stress hack - meditate or pray.
Read books aloud to your baby Sing lullabies to your baby Write a journal as a great way to process your emotions Write letters to your child for him to read in the future
Check out It’s a Preemie Thing or Itty Bitty Baby if you can’t find preemie clothes at a store nearby. They’re not only the right size, but they’re designed with the NICU in mind. You don’t have to stay all alone! Ask if your NICU has a support group and if so—give it a try! If not, check out some wonderful online communities such as Baby Center (Preemie Parenting) or the bump Preemies Forum or Inspire Preemie Support Group. You’ll find other NICU moms and dads who share their stories and encourage each other. Worry not—Use month-to-month iron-on patches. You can iron them on to preemie size onesies if your baby can wear them, or on a blanket to drape over your baby for the photo. Is an iron-on too much work? You can also find month-to-month stickers, which you can place over your little one or even attach to the isolette/crib (with the nurse’s help). A simple solution that works most of the time is to call your nurse. Communication between parents and nurses can’t be overstated—it’s important if you have something you want to do. Otherwise, your nurses won’t know what you want. So call them! Also, think about leaving a nice note at the baby’s bedside, maybe “Mom Wants to do the Next Bath” or “Dad will be here to do the 11 am feeding—please wait for him.” Be prepared—pack a tube of your favorite lotion in your purse or pumping bag. Be sure it’s not a super-fragrant lotion, because the babies’ noses are sensitive. But do be sure it’s one you love, something that makes you happy. If this is the case for you, PLEASE get the help of a lactation consultant. You deserve it. If your NICU doesn’t provide one, ask where you can find one in the community who can help. A qualified lactation consultant can help with pumping and milk supply as well as getting babies to latch and nurse effectively.
