Understanding Birth Order
There has always been a lot of interest in the study of birth order and its impact on society. Certainly, throughout history, there have been occasions when determining a child’s placement in the family was of utmost importance. The birthright of firstborns meant an opportunity to inherit family fortunes, even entire kingdoms, along with the burden of responsibility for the remaining family members. Scientists have done some interesting studies to evaluate the role of birth order in the development of personality. Some studies have theorized that first-born children have higher IQs, while lastborns tend to be more relaxed and irresponsible. However, a more recent broad study concluded that birth order doesn’t have any lasting effect on personality, though it does seem to influence intelligence, and another paper laments the persistence of birth order as a “zombie theory.”
Adlerian Birth Order Characteristics
Psychologist Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud, defined a set of characteristics to describe how a child’s position within the family would actualize in their personality. The table below presents a simplified version of his theories adapted from the Adler Institute website: So how do you explain the manifestation of birth order characteristics in the personalities of individual multiples? Certainly, there are many examples of twin sets where the firstborn twin is a dominant leader and the secondborn is a subdued follower.
What the Experts Say
Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of specific research available on this subject. However, many birth order experts agree that twins tend to organize themselves according to their overall place within the family. For example, if they have one older sibling, they will both exhibit characteristics of a second born. If they are the oldest, they will adopt some traits of firstborns. Aside from inherent personality traits, the impact of birth order in multiples is likely more often one of perception rather than reality, especially in light of recent studies. Parents of multiples, as well as society, apply behavioral expectations based on traditional birth order characteristics; in reaction, the individual children behave in fulfillment of those expectations.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
For example, a mother may reason, “Oh, Twin A was born first. She is always first to do everything. She was the first to crawl, and she’ll be the first to walk also!” She expects her firstborn twin daughter to walk before her sister and spends more time coaching and encouraging this daughter in this skill. In reaction to her self-fulfilling prophecy, Twin A naturally walks first. As the twins grow up, their parents expect their “firstborn” to look out for her “younger” sister, establishing Twin A in the dominant role in the relationship, and galvanizing her personality traits in the mold of an elder child.
Tips
Parents of multiples have a vital responsibility to foster their children’s individual personalities outside of the realm of birth order. To accomplish this, they can do the following:
Adopt a consistent, neutral set of expectations that will allow each child to fulfill his or her inherent personalityAvoid birth order stereotypesDownplay the significance of birth order; if necessary, choose not to identify the multiples’ birth orderDiscourage others, including extended family, teachers, and curious strangers, from overemphasizing birth order importance
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