This article explains why it’s important to avoid sex when you are healing from a miscarriage and how to cope with a pregnancy loss.
Sex After Miscarriage
Generally, healthcare providers advise people to avoid placing things in the vagina—including tampons and having penetrative sex—following a miscarriage to prevent infection or getting pregnant too soon. Usually, when the bleeding stops, it is safe to resume having sex. Bleeding often stops within one to two weeks, but getting a healthcare provider’s go-ahead first is best. Likewise, it is possible to begin ovulating as soon as two weeks after miscarriage, so if you do not want to get pregnant you should use some form of birth control.
Why It’s Important to Wait
After a miscarriage, you are more prone to infection. That’s because the cervix remains partially dilated (open) for a time afterward, increasing the possibility that bacteria could pass from the vagina through the cervix and into the uterus. While these organs heal, it’s important to keep things out of the vagina. That means during this time, you should avoid using tampons, menstrual cups, or menstrual discs; inserting sex toys; or having penetrative sex. A pelvic exam can confirm that you’ve completely healed and that it’s OK to resume sexual activities.
Risks of Sex Soon After Miscarriage
Infection is a concern after miscarriage. Infection may occur as a result of tissue that remains in the uterus or bacteria entering the uterus through the cervix.
Heavy bleeding that soaks more than two pads an hour for more than two hours in a rowFeverChillsSevere pain
Usually, by the time miscarriage-related bleeding stops, your cervix should be closed again. Once that happens, your risk of infection does down. In addition, unless you want to get pregnant right away, you should use some form of contraception once you resume sexual intercourse. It is possible to conceive as soon as two weeks after a miscarriage, so take precautions if a doctor has advised you to wait before getting pregnant again or if you aren’t feeling emotionally prepared yet.
If You Aren’t Ready to Be Intimate
A miscarriage can be particularly destabilizing. Not wanting to be physically intimate after experiencing a miscarriage is normal. Give yourself permission and room to process your feelings and grieve your miscarriage. You may not want to be touched, intimately or otherwise, let alone have sex. How long this grieving process takes varies greatly for everyone. It’s important that you take as much time as you need. If your partner is ready to be intimate and you are not, talk to them and explain how you are feeling. Being open with your partner about your experience and any difficulties you may be having might make it easier to resume intimacy. Additionally, it can help them open up about any feelings they might be experiencing.
Healing Emotionally and Coping With Loss
In addition to the grief many people experience after a pregnancy loss, some develop clinical depression. Symptoms of depression include:
Persistent sadness or anxietyFeeling hopeless or pessimisticFeeling guilty or worthlessNo interest in hobbiesInability to concentrateSleeplessness or sleeping too muchSuicidal ideation or attempts
If you notice any depression symptoms, you should seek appropriate care. A primary care doctor is an excellent place to start. They may suggest talk therapy or prescribe medication, or both. Even if you don’t have depression, many people find that therapy helps them process emotions and prepares them to try again, especially if they want to get pregnant within a specific time frame.
A Word From Verywell
A miscarriage takes a physical and emotional toll on a person. So whether you are feeling eager for intimacy or aren’t ready, it’s understandable.
Reach out to family and friends for support Find a support group Journal Take time off from work, if you are able Honor your baby with a memorial or keepsake
While you should talk to a doctor about when it is safe to resume having sex, also pay attention to your emotional healing. Many people find therapy beneficial as they work through their feelings after a miscarriage. In addition, be sure to watch for signs of depression, which is easier to treat when caught early.
