When Mary was growing up, there was a strict rule in her house that the breakfast dishes had to be washed before she left the house in the morning. A pile of dirty dishes at the end of the day was unacceptable to her mother. Anyone who did not clean his or her dishes early in the day would be punished. Mary always hated this rule and vowed that when she was married and had her own home she would leave the dishes until after dinner. Mary assumed that the pile of dirty dishes bothered her husband, Joe, and felt guilty about it every single day. In reality, Joe never gave it a second thought.
However, there was something Mary did that really bothered Joe. When the phone rang during dinner she would always answer it. Most of the time she would not talk long, but Joe considered it a rude interruption of their mealtime together. He never said anything to her about it. However, they often had arguments about insignificant things later in the evening. Mary never even realized that answering the phone during dinner annoyed her husband. A: No. All couples, even happily married ones, have arguments. The difference is that successful couples resolve their conflicts well. It’s very important to communicate with your spouse when something is bothering you. It’s also important not to make assumptions about what is important to your spouse. Otherwise, you might waste your time doing something you think your spouse cares about, when in reality he or she doesn’t even notice!
